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"My solo trip is drawing to a close, to date it's still hard to believe it actually happened (it's not already March right? Oh yes it is. Insert disbelief and hyperventilation emotions.) and I have a lot to thank for. A lot. Overheard in Capri, an American lady commenting how unbelievably lucky she is to be there and seeing what's in front of our eyes that she was close to tears. I was tempted to go up to her, sincerely look her in the eye, and say mate, I know exactly how you feel.
Did I enjoy the solitude? I absolutely did. It's not that hard to if you have a mammoth introverted self hidden inside. To put it damn selfishly, I enjoyed being friends with myself again, and trying to understand what's within that might have usually been buried underneath daily routine and responsibilities. I told someone as long as I had a cheap glass of red wine to accompany me at a meal, I felt like I'm not alone. He laughed and said I was an alcoholic. I'm not. I think?
However, I've also come to realize while being by yourself is great, the greater lessons and experiences I've had are always with other people. I feel independence is overrated, does one really need to be even more independent? Or is it more important to learn to be someone others can depend on and get along with people of different personalities? Oh. On that note. I learnt that I can be both independent and needy at the same time. Yup, apparently that's a thing.
I learnt that you can only try to be the very best version of yourself and if that is not good enough, then that's just the way it is, and it's not your cross to bear. I'm still learning to not be so harsh on myself, and consequentially on others, because 'life is a journey' and it's to be experienced like a marathon, not a sprint for the finishing line. I am not the best version of myself everyday, I think that's being human? You're gonna be discouraged and tired and discouraged but don't stop trying. There is beauty in trying. You try and sometimes you succeed, sometimes you don't. Repeat cycle. Until your dying breath.
People think travelling is all fun and games, but it doesn't mean that life stop throwing lemons at you. Damn lemons. But damn right these lemons also make for good stories to tell.
You win some and you lose some. They don't tell you that you'll lose a lot but win only occasionally. When one door closes another opens. They don't tell you it might take a looooong time for 'that other door' to open. You will stand outside that closed door, shocked that it's been slammed on you and wonder what just happened? But it's a sign for you to go out and smell the flowers and quit waiting for that other door to open. On that note, I should never teach a child idioms, I will suck at it because of my sweet sweet cynicism.
Hakuna matata. Unfortunately life isn't all worry free, I feel like 'I knew you were trouble when I met you (life)' should be sung at every childbirth to prepare them for what's to come. Im not the shining beacon of a worry free person but more of the person who gets crippled by gazillion worst case scenarios in my head but with every poopshow that happens to me, I'm learning to be a bit more hakuna matata. What a wonderful phrase!"
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